If you are reading this, it is likely because you are curious about cryptocurrency—a word which here means “a terrifyingly complicated system for managing money, designed to eliminate banks but somehow still capable of bankrupting you faster than your least favorite uncle.”
In this peculiar world, asking for help is not only unwise, it is often the first step in a series of unfortunate events.
“Hey, I’m new here. Can someone help me?”
That’s when the wolves smile.
Cryptocurrency is about self-custody—a phrase which here means, “you are entirely on your own.”
If you do not understand what you’re doing, do not do it. Step away from the screen. Read something boring. Start small. Cry if you must. But whatever you do, do not ask for help in public places where the helpful are often just well-dressed villains in disguise.
In this realm, your information is your money. And if that sounds poetic, I regret to inform you it is more of a funeral dirge than a sonnet.
So remember this unfortunate truth:
If you cannot do it yourself, you are not ready.
And if you ask for help, you may find yourself not with answers, but with an empty wallet and a long sigh echoing through the blockchain.